South African women who want more than one husband or partner: Polly Andre

From the earliest years of her life, South Africa’s Mumbai Nedzelma has been questioning the practice of marrying the same man.

She always asked her parents, ‘Will you stay with me all your life?’

“I thought people in our lives should change like the seasons, but in the world around me, relationships with one person were taught everywhere,” Mumbai told the BBC. The same thing was said in the cinema and in the church, but I never fully understood it.

Mumbai is now 33 years old. He is identified as a woman who has a romantic relationship with more than one person, meaning she believes in Polly Andre. Not only that, but she has been raising her voice to protect the interests of such a community in South Africa.

“I have a main partner with whom I am currently engaged and we have children,” she says. My other colleagues are very happy for all of us. My main partner doesn’t want to get married but in the future, I want to get married. ‘

South Africa’s constitution is considered the most liberal in the world. In addition to same-sex marriage, it also allows men to have multiple wives.

Now there is a demand to update the marriage law in the country. In such a situation, it is believed that women can be allowed to have more than one husband at a time and this is a demand.

However, the country’s conservative society is criticizing it.

Musa Maselico, a businessman and TV personality who has four wives. “It will do a lot of damage to our African culture,” he says. What will happen to their children, what identities will they reveal? Women cannot replace men.

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‘No one has heard of it yet. Will women now give lobola (money given to the bride) to men? Will men now have the nickname of wife? ‘

The current leader of the opposition African Christian Democratic Party (ACDP), Reverend Kenneth Meshoe, says it will destroy society.

“There will come a time when one man will say you spend too much time with another man,” says Mishoe. Don’t stay with me It will cause a conflict between the two men.

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According to Mumbai, this is an important moment for women in polygamy.

“The current situation is tense,” she said. Many people’s beliefs are being shaken. Men have been openly and happily polygamous for generations, but women have to be ashamed of it and have to decide a lot of things.

Mumbai have been in a relationship together for the last ten years. Such people are collectively called polyandry. Being polite means that you can live in more than one marital relationship and have the full support and trust of all the people you have a relationship with.

Currently Mumbai has two partners: a central or ‘anchor partner’, they live together and use each other’s resources while they have another partner with whom they have only a romantic relationship but both are less frequent. See you

“We are following the table polymory style, in which people are also aware of each other’s partners,” he said. “It’s not necessary for everyone to meet, but I think it should be.”

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Mumbai was initially reluctant to tell her family about it, but when her relationship with her anchor partner Mizu Memikala Nalabatsi strengthened five years ago, she decided to tell everyone.

My anchor partner is also Polly and I didn’t want my family to fight when he was in a public place with another partner and they would get confused,” he said.

“There was a time when our daughter was five years old and I was active in the field.”

Mumbai recalls her recent engagements when her anchor partner performed the Lobola ritual. In this process, a man pays the marriage fee to the family of his future wife.

Gender activists in South Africa are campaigning for equality and legalizing multiple marriages for women to choose because the current system only allows men to have more than one wife.

Her proposal has been included in a document issued by the government for the first time since 1994 to amend the marriage law so that people can express their views.

The document also proposes legalizing Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Rastafari marriages, which are currently considered invalid.

Mumbai says the offer is like accepting prayers.

And the concerns that are being raised about polygamy are linked to patriarchy.

Colise Machoko, a renowned academic professor on the subject of polyandry, opined that with the advent of Christianity and colonialism, the role of women diminished. “They were not equal. Marriages were also used to establish classification in society.

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He also said that the children’s question is very simple. All the children born in these relationships are children of the family.

Some of Mumbai’s past relationships are rooted in patriarchal beliefs, and since then it has become easier to live with peers who are themselves poly.

“As far as I’m concerned, I’m not trying to be as loving as I can be,” says Mumbai. It’s like finding a connection with someone when I feel it. “

Mumbai met the two partners in an online community that connects multiple people in South Africa.

These days, she and her partner are setting up an online platform called ‘Open Love Africa’ to discuss the ongoing debate in the country. According to Mumbai, he is trying to make relationships with more than one person at the same time morally acceptable.

She says the community is more supportive of black people, but it is comprehensive and will grow as we move forward. This is a gift for those who have a happy relationship with more than one person. You will find such people and then they will feel that there is no need to lie.

“Like any other fight, people here will always speak out against it,” she said.

“When I was in my mother’s womb, my mother joined the protest so that women could take contraceptive pills without the man’s permission.”

“It was a different fight then and now it’s a different fight for me,” he said.